Le Bistrot du Porc

Recipes for a Happy Life


Clarified Consommé

A clear broth for clear communication

Recipe:

Say it simple and with a smile.

And don't forget that

Actions speak louder than words.
The well-known proverb 'Actions speak louder than words' is found in many lands and many languages, including ancient Greek. It affirms the fact that what someone actually does, means more than what they say they will do (The Oxford Dictionary, Thesaurus and Wordpower Guide, 2001).
It took the disappointed look on the face of a beginner at dance class before I realized that this is not only true for the things others say and do but also for the things I myself say and do. Me saying sorry for not dancing with him did not mean a thing to him. But when I danced the next dance with him that meant a whole lot more!

A dog is not considered a good dog
because he is a good barker.

A man is not considered a good man
because he is a good talker.


Buddha

More than words
Nuno Bettencourt and Gary Cherone, 1991
You are listening to the song 'More than words' by Extreme.
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words
But for those rare times that we do need to express ourselves
with words a few tips can be found below.
Tip 1
Let your words be few. Foolish talk comes when there are too many words (The Bible, Ecclesiastes 5:3).

Tip 2
Don't nag!
It dilutes the impact of what you are trying to say and leaves you feeling disempowered and frustrated.
Nagging conveys the message: "YOU SHOULD". And we, humans, don't respond well to "YOU SHOULD." We don't like being told what to do. As a result we withdraw, not acknowledge what is being said or simply say "Yeah, whatever".
Instead of nagging, stand firm, speak directly, don't repeat yourself or move away and you stand a much better chance of being listened to.

Tip 3
We are far more receptive to engaging in a challenging conversation when we are not shamed or accused. We get defensive if someone says: "You always speak over me and I am sick of it!".
But if someone says: "Darling, when we were discussing that situation in the Middle East at the party last night and you talked over me,
I felt a bit bulldozed and insignificant," we are more likely to react positively.
For some mysterious reason we are more likely to take responsibility and do something when confronted with the impact of our behaviour on the feelings of others.


Continue with the next course:

Pork with White Beans

Chef's Choice against bad effects of good intentions
and talking too quickly

Read more >>

Or

Have a peak in the Secret File of the Hollow Mountain on
Speech >>
You are in our Reading Room reading the recipes of Le Bistrot du Porc >>
© Brigitte Franssen 2017
Extreme.mp3
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